“Feelings are like blankets, covering you up so you can’t see clearly, or like mazes you can too easily get lost inside. I am terrified of getting lost.”
❝Did it NOT oh-occur to you IDIDN’Twuh-want revenge? Maybe I just wuh-hanted to MOVE ON. Now I’m STUCK here BECAUSE oh-of you.❞
And she thinks she’s strong. She thinks she’s right all around but she’d not, because thinking doesn’t mean she believes. She thinks she’s strong but the tears come anyway. She says things, when she’s angry. Never meaning them. But then she’s been angry since she died. Bottomless pit of a belly. Nothing she can control. Nothing she can fix. It’s there. It’s not going away. And he acts like she can.
❝I CAN’T HELP THAT❞, she’s shouting, a ragged noise like the ripping of Velcro, a beat of pain where her vocal cords scratch.
❝I CAN’T HELP BEING HUH-HUNGRY! STOP IT! STUH-HOP SAYING MY NAME LIKE THAT! STOP IT!❞
Because really, it’s all she has left, her name, and it doesn’t mean much anymore these days.
He knew that Becky couldn’t control it. Couldn’t control the hunger that consumed her. They were all messed up in one way or another. She was no exception. If anything, next to Aaron, she was one of the worst of them. For the timebeing, at least. ❝ You’re not saying anything that I don’t already know. ❞ His voice came out quieter than it had mere moments ago, though it was brief. He couldn’t afford to show that weakness. Not now. Except, even if he didn’t want to, it still stung, hearing it from someone other than himself or Steve.
❝ You know what? Since you’re so bent on blaming me for everything, I might as well humor you. After all, like I said, it’s all about what LIL BECKY wants. ❞ His voice threatened to waver but his stature didn’t change, back straight and eyes narrowed, towering over her smaller frame. ❝ It’s all my fault. It’s my fault that I wasn’t able to keep a grown man from forcing chains into my skin, from hanging me up on a wall like a display. It’s my fault I couldn’t keep my family safe. It’s my fault for acting on what felt natural at the time, considering I was only SEVEN. Children do stupid shit, but hey, I still did it. Still my fault, right? My fault that Steve’s here, even though I had jackshit to do with it. My fault Aaron’s going insane, my fault you have a bottomless pit for a stomach. I’m a serial fuck-up and I never even got to turn EIGHT. ❞
Coming fruh-hom the one who trah-happed usall huh-here with HIM? That’s really rich, Nate. I don’t knuh-know how eh-else you expect me to ah-address you. Look a-at me.LOOK AT ME. LOOK WHAT YOU D-DID TO ME. TO A-ALL OF US. I’M DUH-DISGUSTING. I DON’T EH-EVEN KNOW WHO I AM ANY-ANYMORE. And tell me again I’M the buh-backstabbing one!
Maybe if you started listening to me instead of that bottomless pit you call a stomach, you’d realize that I had nothing to do with the fact that he came back. How many times do I have to tell you that before it sinks into your THICK SKULL? I didn’t do ANYTHING to YOU except try to help someone I thought to be a FRIEND get REVENGE. If you knew HALF the shit I had to go through, then maybe you’d realize that the last thing I’d want to do is trap someone like HIM in here. BUT NO! It’s all about Rebecca. Rebecca feels this, Rebecca wants that! Rebecca’s hungry! Where’s Rebecca’s marble? Rebecca, Rebecca, REBECCA.
Why w-would I ah-ask someone to t-touch your nuh-neck when I can stab you myself.
…
I shouldn’t have expected you to vomit anything else from that mouth of yours. Though I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. You are quite the little backstabber, aren’t you? Anything else you could have said wouldn’t be as so fitting as that.
Ear:“I want you to hear me out.” Shoulder:Worry/Concern for other/Fear Fingers:Friendship/amicable Wrist:Fear of losing you Calves:“I will cause you pain.”
“This is why we can’t have nice things, Beck. It started out cute and you made it end in pain. Why can’t things just be normal for once?”
spriiingtrap: Neck [ that's legit the only one ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ]
This is the face of someone who is 200% done with the worlds shit and about to slap a bitch if he doesn’t stop touching his neck. Safe to say the feeling’s mutual.
